I feel weak. Tired. Emotionally exhausted. Is this worth it? The confrontation? The perseverance for resolution? I’m just not a fan of all this negativity. This feeling of resentment. But I know in my heart it’s necessary.. right?
I’ve always handled these things with such immaturity. I essentially ignored it, put down others and even created other situations similar so that I wouldn’t have to worry about the current one. It’s pathetic, I know.. But I know in my heart, as a follower in Christ, and as Andrew Cha, I have to grow up. Mature so that my actions will give glory to God. Taking away the pride that I carry, to get rid of my sinfulness by addressing them; praying about them, and even risking relationships.
I knew this was something that had to be done. Because of the amount of resentment that I carried in my heart, I couldn’t just let the sins be ignored. After weeks of praying and praying, I just knew I had to confront it. Now since i’m in the middle of it, it’s become a lot harder…
With my 20th birthday coming up, my growth as a man, and a follower of Christ has been exponential. But looking deep into my habits and current happenings in my life, it brought light upon the stupidity I still carry. The sins I still possess…. I got way too complacent of my faith and as I look how God has shined light on it, I look at it as a light of action. To act upon it… I simply need to mature…
I need to calm myself. Be patient through the storm. Give absolutely everything to God so that He will have ultimate control. And with His ultimate control, His will, not mine will be done. Take me through the adversity and negativity through the comfort of Your grace.. God, be with me.
“So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed. That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin” : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:17-32 NIV)
Lord, Abba, Father, let me take in these words from the scripture you have left us. To meditate upon them and act..
God, give me strength.